Irritation
by Sarcastic Devotee
Summary: "Owen and I go way back. He was probably the first person I met on the show, and the first person I befriended too. It's an odd friendship, as you would expect, and that's probably why everything he does irritates me." Noah-Owen friendship. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama.**

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><p><em>Owen and I go way back. He was probably the first person I met on the show, and the first person I befriended too. It's an odd friendship, as you would expect, and that's probably why everything he does irritates me.<em>

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><p>"Sch-noah!" Owen spoke after taking a grand bite out of his hot dog, "We headin' to hang with Izzy later?!"<p>

Noah grimaced, as he got spattered by hot dog bun crumbs. He sarcastically retorted, "Oh, joy. Is she going to spit pre-chewed food all over me?"

_The way he talks with his mouth full irritates me._

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><p>"Do you think we'd like this for the barbecue?" Owen asked as he stopped, causing a large line-up at the grocery store, "Ooh! Or how about this?!"<p>

"We won't _eat _anything with you there, big guy!" Noah tried to reason with him, "Just grab one of each!"

"B-but what if it doesn't work out?!" Owen asked, "What if everyone gets upset that we got one thing when they only like the other thing and only eat one of them?!"

Noah slunk down, as the people trying to get to the packaged meat were starting to riot.

_The way he can never make up his mind at the grocery store irritates me._

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><p>Noah stared down at his full bowl of cereal and then stared over at Owen's completely empty bowl, which he was licking the last drops out of.<p>

_Three, two, one... _Noah counted down in his head.

"You gonna eat that?!"

_The way he eats so damn quickly and then wants more food irritates me. It might be that I just overthink things, but the way he treats food in general just annoys me to no end._

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><p>"Owen, what <em>are <em>you doing?"

Owen had tied a knot in his over-sized white t-shirt, wearing it like a halter top, "Look, Noah! I'm like that girl on Dukes of Hazzard!"

_The way he treats his clothes irritates me._

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><p>"Noah, look out!" Owen pushed Noah over and onto the ground of Playa des Losers. The Indian teen looked up at his best friend with a look of confusion. He looked back to where he was originally sitting and saw where a bird had apparently decided to crap.<p>

"I could have just gotten washed up, you know," Noah scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"But it's bird poo!" Owen gasped, exclaiming, "That's disgusting, little buddy!"

_The way he overreacts over the smallest thing irritates me._

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><p>"Great Balls of Fire!"<p>

"Great Barrier Reef!"

"Great Odin's Hammer!"

"Great-"

_The way he always calls out the word great and then some kind of metaphor irritates me._

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><p><em>The way he's a hypocrite irritates me.<em>

"Noah!" Owen exclaimed as he walked into Noah's room of Playa des Losers, "You should totally keep your room cleaner than this!"

Noah stared over at his room, which just had a small pile of books in the middle of his floor. He stared back up at the taller teen with a deadpan look. Owen's room was _always _messier than Noah's.

_But then again, it's Owen. He can't help **not **being messy._

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><p>"AAAAAAH!"<p>

Noah felt himself being crushed by a screaming Owen, as they, Eva, and Izzy went to the movies. Eva looked over at the two with an odd look and Izzy just stared at the movie screen, laughing every once in a while.

_The way he's absolutely terrified of horror movies irritates me._

"SSSSH!" a patron behind them loudly proclaimed, "YOU NEED TO BE QUIET IN THE MOVIE THEATER."

_This is totally unrelated, but people who decide to shush others for being loud and then be just as loud in a movie theater also irritate me._

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><p>"Hey, look, Noah!" Owen stood up, a small chair stuck to his butt, "I'm a stuffed Owen! Hehehehehe!"<p>

_The way he purposefully sits in chairs too small for him irritates me._

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><p>Noah dialed the number for Owen's cell phone and waited. He reclined on his bed, waiting for the oaf to pick up. However, he wasn't all that surprised to learn that the sound of a different phone ringing in his room filled his ears.<p>

_The way he always leaves his phone at my house irritates me._

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><p>"Owen, why are you jingling?"<p>

Owen stopped his walk, before digging in his pockets, "Lesse... Keys! Sandwich! Five dollars in pennies! A baby rattle!"

Noah massaged his temples as Owen named off everything in his pockets.

_The fact that he carries half of the planet in his pocket irritates me._

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><p>"Noah, Noah, Noah!"<p>

Noah looked up from his book, "Yes, Owen? What's up?"

"Do you know when the first World War started?" Owen asked, eyes lighting up.

Noah rolled his eyes, "And why do you wanna know?"

"Just wonderin'!"

_The way that he asks me questions that he could just look up to know the answer to irritates me. Although, I do know he's just trying to make conversation._

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><p>"Noah, look!"<p>

Noah looked up from his video game to Owen, who had stuck two pencils in his nose. Noah looked at Owen. Owen looked at Noah.

"I'm a walrus!" Owen exclaimed, "Arf, arf!"

_The fact that he always tries to make me laugh with trivial jokes irritates me._

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><p><em>The fact that he douses hot chili peppers with milk and then sprays me with it from his nose irritates me. But that was shown on the show, so I don't have to show my irritation to that.<em>

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><p>Noah was in the front of a long line to the confessional bathroom. Gwen, who was standing behind him, hopping up and down on alternating feet finally groaned in annoyance.<p>

"Who's _in _there?!"

"Owen," Noah spoke, clutching at his crotch.

"Of course," Gwen sighed, before turning on her heels, "Guess I'll go lumberjack style." Noah would have done the same, but he wasn't the type to want to pee in nature.

_The fact that he takes so long in the bathroom irritates me._

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><p>"Hey, Noah!" Owen set a stack of paper on his buddy's desk, "Saw you were absent yesterday! Here's some notes for ya!"<p>

_The fact that he makes notes for me... takes so much time out of his own life for me... irritates me._

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><p>"Lucky's missing?!" Owen asked, frantically.<p>

Noah, actually not in a sarcastic mood for once, frantically replied, "Yeah, me or none of my family can find him and- Owen? Owen?!"

Owen had hung up on him.

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><p>A couple of hours had passed when Noah heard the doorbell ring. He answered the door and there stood Owen, dripping head to toe in mud, with a golden lab at his side.<p>

Noah's golden lab, Lucky.

"Found him! I'll see 'ya tomorrow, little buddy!"

_The fact that he didn't even say one word and went to find the dog I had since I was small... irritated me._

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><p>As Noah walked behind Owen as they were called to a new season of Total Drama, he stared at the back of his best friend's head. Everything Owen did to irritate him made up his character. Owen was a genuinely good guy, as goofy as he was. He was selfless, friendly, and honestly the best friend he could have.<p>

And then Owen turned around with two pencils stuck in his nose, "Look, Noah! I'm a walrus!"

_THE FACT THAT HE MAKES THE SAME JOKE ALL THE TIME IRRITATES ME TO NO END._


End file.
